Forty is a Good Number!

Just three days until the election.  This evokes many feelings within me:  anxiety, hope, disgust, relief.  And those emotions are stirred up without the brutal whisk of Facebook.  2020 has been a tough year, no need to tell you that.  For me it has been all about keeping my serenity and my sanity in good working order.  Thus, I decided the last weekend of September would be my last foray into Facebook - I would refrain at least through November third.  

Here is my true story of surviving and perhaps even thriving without the scourge of social media.  Early in the pandemic I began taking a weekly "Spiritual Fitness" class via Zoom with a Torah Educator.  As a kid I did not receive much (any?) formal religious training and the casual, conversational format of this weekly talk appealed to me.  Yes, I resonated because the instructor is a woman.  Yes, it was a convenient time and place - HOME!- to take the class.  But it was more than that.  I thought why not now?  This is a good time to strengthen my emunah (faith) in a more specific way, not the generalized "I'm spiritual, not religious "mantra of late.

I knew the Jewish calendar was lunar, and the Gregorian calendar revolves around the sun.  I understood that the dates of  holidays were always the same in the Jewish calendar, but beyond that my knowledge of the months of Judaism was scant.  In mid-August Chaya began mentioning the month of Elul.  How it is a full moon cycle of reflection and repentance leading up to Rosh Hashanah and the Days of Awe.  As a 12-stepper in Al-Anon the idea of taking a month to ponder my being, my actions, my thoughts...  well, it really appealed to me.  I downloaded an Elul workbook that extended to Yom Kippur and faithfully did the daily reading and writing.  There were questions, deep thoughtful questions to reply to.  All done in my jammies, at night, by myself, in brutal honesty.  This was a forty-day endeavor as the workbook extended through the Days of Awe to sundown on the night of Yom Kippur commencing.

I was still on Facebook during most of this time.  Being pawky, highly opiniated and vociferous.  We were gearing up to an historic, important election and I wanted my voice heard!  In a punny, funny, witty way of a writer.  Clever me.  But then I started to not feel good about my behavior.  My overzealous engagement with friends and family.  Having harsh judgements about the intelligence levels of people who had different opinions than mine or supported the contrary opponent.  Doing this meaningful reflective work and Facebook sniping seemed to be in opposition of one another.  

I decided to give up Facebook on September 27th before sundown and the beginning of Yom Kippur.  I had a prior thirty-day hiatus a few years back and found the self-imposed blackout difficult.  I occasionally snuck a peek to see a post or check in on someone.  This time I vowed to be clean and rigorously honest with myself.  I uninstalled the app on my phone to limit temptation.  I had a last proclamatory post so folks would know I hadn't just fallen off the face of the earth.  After all, anything is possible in 2020.  

What was also floating around my brain was the number 40.  There are forty days in the penitential period from Rosh Chodesh Elul and Yom Kippur.  Moses told the Jews they were not worthy to inherit the land and would wander the desert for forty years.  The heavens broke open and rained on Noah's ark for forty days.  Jesus fasted for forty days and forty nights before his temptation.  In the middle ages ships had to harbor for forty days before passengers could disembark due to the bubonic plague.  Sound familiar?  Even Lent is forty days long, not counting Sundays.  This number 40 carries significance!  Ergo I decided my Facebook free period would honor the gravitas of forty.  I quickly looked at my (Gregorian) calendar and calculated my social media sabbatical would end on November 5th.  

Logically this date of reemergence made sense.  The election would be over and that was my initial reason for the respite - add two day and maybe some of the rancor and nastiness would have subsided.  Now I have doubts that a quick turnaround to normalcy is feasible.  Each day I am growing more comfortable with the possibility that Facebook is firmly in my rear-view mirror.  I haven't peeked at all this time.  Not even to go onto my beloved groups - Embracing our Silver Hair, a Cop Mom forum, one that is all about living with Rheumatoid Arthritis and a couple more.  One of my daughters told me that I can just go onto my groups and not the general scroll till I fall down a hole feed.  But I thought I am all in this time.

Here is what I have gained from my absence.  I don't miss Facebook.  I didn't engage in inane, circular conversations with virtual strangers.  I didn't read any death wishes or slimy slogans.  I did miss photos of kids and food and vacations - well not vacations - we don't do that anymore.  But you get the gist.  I wish there were two Facebooks - one for the political/social/societal hostilities and one for butterflies and flowers.  I suppose Instagram is more geared for the latter and I might try to be more diligent about checking in and posting there.  Maybe I will even figure out how to post this blog on that friendlier forum.  But not this instant.

Right now, I reflect on my choice to abstain.  I liken it the practice to exercising my willpower muscle.  Seeing if I have the courage to change a habit.  Can I give up something I love for forty days, like a Lenten practice?  E-Lent-ion is what I jokingly called my experiment.  I survived!  I found more time to read, write, crochet, and cook.  I spent less time staring at a screen.  My blood pressure remained slow and steady.  I didn't feel riled up or raring to go with anyone about anything.

As for returning to Facebook, only time will tell.  In the meantime, I will engage with my Spiritual Fitness and remember to place principles above personalities.  

Time to Write,

Jane