First - let's begin with the diminishing daylight that occurs each year between the autumnal equinox and the winter solstice. I am not SAD*, I am just unhappy it. The feeling that I am burning daylight comes at two pm. By the time I go to the gym, an Al-Anon meeting and run a few errands, I can see Mr. Sunshine attempting to dip below the Front Range. In summer I have plenty of time to get home, pack a mini-picnic and sit my tush out at the pool in the gentler version of afternoon rays. There I can read and write and dip and dive. Heaven on earth. This time of year I find myself on a chair, decaf in hand to warm my arthritic bones, reading lamp on. At four pm.
Second is holiday music. This is a treat I would prefer left to Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Yes, these tunes have improved over the years with famous vocalists releasing current and worthy renderings of songs old and new. I don't dispute that. It's just the constant onslaught of forced cheer and lyrics that may be outdated. Why must I be subjected to listen while picking out produce or riding the bike at the gym. I know I can pop some ear-buds in and listen to the tunes of my liking. I know others may enjoy this holiday barrage. It's just not my idea of everyday music.
Next up? Shopping. An activity I bemoan year round and deplore between Halloween and December 25th. It used to be that Thanksgiving weekend was the official start of the holiday season, but anyone who visits a craft store knows that items are now available way before that. The constant rolling of one occasion right into the next is exhausting. Back to school and Christmas are practically back to back. How much crap can we purchase while purporting minimalism? How much money is spent on people we don't really like? On products we don't even need? On shit we already own, but hey! A bigger, better version has just become available. I say Stop the Madness!
Decorations... Dollar Tree crap. Wrapping paper... Future landfill fluff. Party City is nothing more than single use, bound for the garbage nonsense. Do I sound like Scrooge yet? I hope not. I do enjoy the outdoor lighting displays that bring brightness to the darkest season. Just spare me the blow-up Santas!
The spirituality of the season moves me. Hanukkah represents the resilience of an oppressed people. A salient message today. Christmas represents the birth of a rabbi who preached love, compassion and kindness. I'll repeat that. Love. Compassion. Kindness. The hypocrisy of believers who celebrate the Christ child, but not an immigrant baby leaves me empty. Love thy neighbor, but only if they really live in your neighborhood. Peace on Earth - Good Will Toward Men. Only if you are American, suburban, white? OK. Whatever.
People talk of returning to simpler times. While waiting on line at Wal-Mart. People profess to love their fellow man. Then cut them off in traffic. People say 'tis the season. To Facebook bash anyone with a different opinion. Why is November and December the magical months to be decent? What about the rest of the year...
If the holidays were truly holy days; sacred celebrations of each individuals personal faith I'd be on board. But in our materialistic, me first, society I don't often feel that kind of vibe. That is why I turn inward at this time of year. My time to reflect on what has transpired, what I can do better. Do I need to make an amends to anyone? Is there a charity I missed but care enough about to donate to - either with time, money or talent. Does my neighbor or friend need a hand, or a meal? These are the small, important things I can do. And they don't cost much.
I can spend time - the most elusive commodity of today - with those I love. Or like. My family had a celebratory dinner earlier this week. The food was great, but the best part was being with my three children and two grands. Delicious. Tonight I will dance and pot-luck with a dance community I still feel part of in Colorado Springs. More than anything, I look forward to knowing I will hug and be hugged. Love and be loved. Fancy footwork and festive food is not the main attraction. It is the fellowship and friendship.
Time to Write,
Jane
* SAD - Seasonal Affective Disorder
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