Destroyed, Damaged or Stigmatized

Seven years ago two people lost their lives and 346 houses were destroyed.  Countless other homes were damaged or stigmatized - those are not my words.  They were the three categories the El Paso County  Assessor's office used to revalue the affected homes in the Waldo Canyon Fire.  In retrospect I can see how those categories were apt, but at the time - when I opened that letter - it seemed cold and sterile.  I wasn't a category.  I was a person whose house fell in the third category.  The rear-view mirror is a funny tool - looking back today I can see how those three categories; destroyed, damaged and stigmatized also described the people who lived in Mountain Shadows.

Today - seven years post fire, the stigma has abated.  I sold my devalued home five years ago, two years after the conflagration.  The trauma is more subtle now.  The years have softened the hurt.  I can drive to Colorado Springs, crest Monument Hill, and look without looking away.  I used to enjoy eyeballing my neighborhood from that vantage point.  After the fire, not so much.

To be clear, even though I did not lose my house, I was profoundly affected.  I am eternally grateful to my friends the Knapp's for allowing me, my daughter and my dog to stay with them during the ordeal.  I am grateful I was able to take the hit on my house and leave the area.  Once the view changed, from green trees and native grasses to black sticks and dead brush - I had no interest in staying.

Two years ago I wrote a poem to process my feelings.  I tried writing another one yesterday, but it wasn't there.  No inspiration.  No spark.  Maybe that means I am a good spot.  Maybe seven years is a good number.  Like the opposite of the seven year  itch. I'm good right where I am.

Time to Write,
Jane